Klingon Programmer Quotes
Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon programmer
in your company.
- Specifications are for the weak and timid!
- This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!
- You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've heard it read in the original Klingon.
- Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!!
- What is this talk of "release"? Klingons do not make software "releases." Our software "escapes," leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
- Klingon function calls do not have "parameters"- they have "arguments"- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM!
- Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
- I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Lath contest. They will not concern us again.
- A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code
- By filing this defect report you have challenged the honour of my family. Prepare to die!
- You question the worthiness of my code?! I should kill you where you stand!
- Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!
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