News of the Weird

Mikey Sproul, age 3, made News of the Weird in 1993 when, in the space of six weeks, he smashed up the family car (and two others) with a late-night drive near Tampa, Fla., and accidentally burned down the family home. (He was a reporter's delight, as well, with his easy quotability: "I go zoom" and "Now I have no more house.") In April 1996, Mikey (now age 6) accidentally burned his mother's current house in Tampa--resulting in $45,000 in damages--but this time had no statement for the press. [Tampa Tribune, 4-16-96]

According to a 911 tape played at his preliminary hearing in Las Vegas, Nev., in March, Roy Holloway called the emergency number because he was frustrated at his inability to kill his wife. Said he, to the operator, "I've tried to strangle her about four different ways. She won't die." Asked the operator, Why are you trying to kill her? "Because I don't like her," said Holloway on the tape. Why not just divorce her? "Isn't it a lot easier just to kill her? But she won't die. [G]od, she keeps breathing." [Las Vegas Sun, 3-20-96]

The Sex Pistols' 1996 reunion tour was delayed in January for a month so the band members could "rehearse." According to a Virgin Records spokesman, the members have become such accomplished musicians in the 20 years since the band folded that they needed practice to get down to their old sound. [Columbia Tribune-AP, 1-12-96]

In March, two convicted rapists, Allan Wayne McLaurin and Darron Bennalford Anderson, were re-sentenced by a jury in Tulsa, Okla., after an appeals court said the original sentences totaling 6,475 years were based on faulty jury instructions. This time, the jury said the crimes were worth an additional 260 centuries in prison--a total of 21,250 years to McLaurin and 11,250 to Anderson. (Two weeks later, the same Oklahoma appeals court upheld a 1994 sentence, for the man who raped a 3- year-old girl, of 30,000 years. The only dissenting judge said he would have ordered the six 5,000-year sentences to be served concurrently instead of consecutively.) [Daily Oklahoman-AP, 3- 23-96, 4-3-96]

In October, a judge in Belfast, Northern Ireland, rejected plans for a proposed restaurant called School Dinners that would feature meals served by young women in short skirts wielding whips against patrons who did not clean their plates. Though opponents called the restaurant immoral, the judge said merely that the mock spankings would constitute "entertainment," which is forbidden by the lease. Said one disappointed supporter, "We have had 25 years [of oppression]. Now is the time for the fun to come flooding back." [Columbus Dispatch-AP, 10-26-95]

Police in Ft. Worth, Tex., arrested a man in December just after he robbed a NationsBank branch. Cops were waiting because a bank customer had walked next door to police headquarters to summon them after becoming suspicious that a man was waiting in a bank line wearing a ski mask. [St. Petersburg Times, 12-14-95]

Juan Morales, 18, and Juan Mendoza, 18, were arrested as they robbed a Coastal Mart convenience store in Weslaco, Tex., in November. Police had been tipped off to the crime because the cashier on duty the day before reported that the two men had threatened to "come back and rob you" the next day. [Valley Morning Star, 11-30-95]

In November in Quantico, Va., Christopher P. Emond, 18, pleaded guilty to making a false police report. He had hired two men to shoot him simply to impress his friends that he was privvy to military secrets. Emond was wounded but not seriously. [Washington Times, 11-4-95]

In November, workers at China's Bayanghe coalfield in Xinjiang region extinguished a fire that had been burning over a five-square-kilometer area for an estimated 100 years. About 300,000 tons of coal a year was consumed by the fire, and authorities estimate 55 million tons remain. [China Daily-Xinhua, 11-14-95]

In October, a Redondo Beach, Calif., police officer arrested a driver after a short chase and charged him with drunk driving. Officer Joseph Fonteno's suspicions were aroused when he saw the white Mazda MX-7 rolling down Pacific Coast Highway with half of a traffic-light pole, including the lights, lying across its hood. The driver had hit the pole on a median strip and simply kept driving. According to Fonteno, when the driver was asked about the pole, he said, "It came with the car when I bought it." [Torrance Daily Breeze, 10-24-95]